It can be agreed upon that there is both a business and
practical side to running a Montessori School.
Michael Thompson stated at the 2015 AMI Refresher Course that 95% of
parents have good will, a good heart, and benefit from regular feedback. That leaves only 5% of parents who are
difficult to work with. Those are
really encouraging statistics for both staff and administrators to remember and
that optimism is really the duty of the school and staff. Thompson also says that two kinds of parents,
who fall under that 5%, are either threatening, intimidating and assaulting or
anxious.
With the first group, the administration needs to stand by
their teacher, who should never be left alone with that parent. Documenting conversations is important too, so
those interactions can be referred to in the future. This reduces the amount of discrepancies
when having future conversations.
When working with the anxious parent, wording things
correctly and positively are so important.
When communicating with anxious parents, they need reassurance about
their child. For example, share the
observations made about the student, but also identify the potential. Ask if
the parent has any suggestions about what can be done together to support the
child so that he/she can reach their ultimate potential.
The teacher or administrator must do his/her best to be
encouraging and patient. However, gently
drawing boundaries to protect your time is important as well. When expressing concern, it is also important
to state what is being observed objectively without adding negative
emotion. The guide and administrator
must be succinct in communicating observations and optimism.
The expression of optimism between administrators, to staff
and with families is paramount. We
should also leave room for parents to have a bad day or week and not take
things personally. As humans, we have
to deal with our own issues. We have
our own external and internal judgments and perceptions that can often be
misjudgments and misperceptions.
Sometimes, teachers and administrators have bad days, which can affect
their interaction with the children and or parents.
However, Michael Thompson also shares the importance of what
it means to be a leader. Both the
administration and staff must be examples for the school. The administrator must be an icon. The history and mission of the school should
be easily describable. With everything
that goes on in one’s life, at the very least, the administrator should act both
professionally and charismatically, the same way the administrator needs the
staff to act composed and with an approachable posture for the sake of the
children, despite what is going on personally or professionally. Michael Thompson is adamant in expressing
that the administrator must thrust and trust themselves out there. Additionally, it is important to inspire the
staff to do the same.
Throughout
my time in the Montessori classroom, I have received a lot of advice from many
people working in the Montessori environment, as well as from parents. Some advice, which was mentioned at the
refresher course was, “you can’t care more than the person who owns the
problem.” While part of me has looked
at the rationale of this advice as a way to not get emotionally attached to a
situation, it still was always bothersome to me. Another thing that was said, similar to the
old adage, is that “no good deed goes unpunished.” Either way, those are pessimistic excuses to
not have to deal with a situation professionally, head on, and with love.
This led me to think about Gandhi, Dr. Martin Luther King
Jr., Mother Theresa and others. They
didn't own the problem, but they were involved in it. As educators and owners of schools, a
problem involving families is ours to help manage or solve to the extent that
the family allows us to participate. By
being in this profession, we decided to be contributing members to humanity and
its future.
Through
a correspondence with Maren Schmidt via the Elementary Alumni Association Yahoo
group, she reminded me (us) that love is a verb. She stated that love is not a feeling or
state of being. Then she mentioned the
same thing that I was thinking, “we have a choice between love and fear.” Maren went on to share a version of The
Paradoxical Commandments written by Keith M. Kent, which reads as follows:
People are often
unreasonable, irrational and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind,
people may accuse you of selfish and ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful,
you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and
sincere, people may deceive you;
Be honest and sincere
anyway.
What you spend years
creating, others could destroy overnight;
Create anyway.
If you find serenity
and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today
will often be forgotten:
Do good anyway.
Give the best you
have, and it may never be enough;
Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between
you and them anyway.
What I took from the refresher
course was both validating and exactly what I needed. Be compassionate to everyone. When we have trouble, there are tools and
resources in the Montessori community to help us find our center again. Inclusion, as much as possible, is the key
to success and fulfillment, whether as an administrator, guide, or parent. We have a role to fulfill and therefore a
duty to, at the very least, act as such.
